Book of the Week: Wednesday after work I decided to stop at my local library and see what their 20s/30s monthly book club was reading, so I picked up The One by John Marrs with full intention of spreading my social wings and attending an in-person book club. I know, who is she? Next month’s pick is a Jodi Picoult book and if I enjoy that I may be officially settling into middle-age at the ripe age of 32.

Health:

I only went on two outdoor walks this week because I had a stomach bug from Monday-Thursday and then my time of the month started. I think that makes me one of god’s least favorites this week. I carb’d up, ate a lot of solids, drank a lot of Gatorade, and at long last, all is well.

Both of my walks had destinations: the first was to church for Ash Wednesday. I concluded I would attend church more often if I enjoyed the priest and the atmosphere. Currently, my closest church is attached to a school, and it feels like it: bright lights, gymnasium adjacent, boatload of kids. The priest also sounded a smidge like the mawwiage guy from the Princess Bride.

After I got my ashes and some fresh air, I decided to give up being impatient for Lent, which doesn’t sound real considering people give up social media, soda, and candy, but I want to be more understanding of the circumstances that typically frustrate me. To be more understanding, I need to be more patient. For me, that means not honking, interacting with people more, generally being a kinder and more open person. For forty days? A walk in the park.

Work:

I have officially been at my job for a month, and I’m consistently told how fast I learn and pick up on things. While it’s helpful to hear those things it doesn’t discredit how I feel and I feel like I have a giant question mark over my head. I don’t really participate; I don’t have work to keep me busy between trainings (hello from my desk btw), and I don’t have the Excel knowledge my cohorts possess. My confidence in my job is already dwindling, and I realize it’s because I have PTSD from my last job. One of my old bosses and I had to have a one-on-one where he told me, “It’s clear you don’t know what you’re doing” while I had a panic attack. I felt very lost in my last job for almost two years because I was never properly trained and had nobody to ask questions to. Now, I am surrounded by support and assistance and a lingering anxiety in my gut from jobs past. We’ll work through that at some point, that’s what this year is all about.

Life

A fun, personal treat this week was ordering my first Stitch Fix box. I received five items and decided to keep two of them: a cardigan and a pair of slacks. I recently bought a pair of brown slack on clearance because I’ve been in need of a pair, but they’re too snug and I don’t like when workpants have a skinny fit. I am working on finding my style this year and trying new outfits, colors, and fits. I thought this would be a good step and save me the exhaustion and spending from shopping for work outfits on my own.

I watched One Battle After Another twice in one day because I thought it was incredible. I was apprehensive thinking it wasn’t going to be my kind of action movie. Turns out it’s exactly my kind of action movie. The pacing, soundtrack, shots, ugh. I’ll talk about it anytime, I loved it so much.

On Sunday morning I went to breakfast with some of my family, notably my cousin and her girlfriend who I haven’t seen since Christmas. Breakfast is my favorite meal, so it was nice to get together, chat, and enjoy good food.

I also went to a card show this weekend where I traded Pokémon cards for the first time. I am a casual collector. I collect my favorite Pokémon, certain artists, and cards I think are cute. This was the first show where I had cards to trade and was feeling brave enough to trade them. In doing so, I received a handful of Yuka Morii cards for free as well as a long sought-after card: Marshadow with Pikachu on the front without spending any money on them. :)

Song of the Day playlist has been updated with:

• Darling Nikki by Prince

• Baby, You Wouldn’t Last a Minute on the Creek by Chiodos

• Read My Mind by the Killers

• My Moon My Man by Feist

• Dirty Work by Steely Dan

• Cry for Me by the Weeknd

• Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down